Stories / Poems
You will often hear of funny things (1953)
You will often hear of funny things, as you pass by upon your way
And many are the humorous sketches, you will hear from day to day
But if you’re not in a hurry, attend to me a while
And I’ll relate a tale to you that will almost make you smile
There’s a place called Aughintober, nor far from Dungannon Town
In Tyrone among the bushes in story and renown
It at this place you’ll understand, my tale it has its home
Where young men and maids, we have been told, at twilight often roam
At this place called Aughintober, there exists a splendid hall
Were it not for that, there’d be no need for me at all at all
The members there we have been told, they did agree of late
To chip the walls and paint them, the hall to re-decorate
To start the work on Monday, they assembled at the hall
To see the matter to the end was the wish of one and all
There were lots and lots of willing friends well known to me and you
But within the confines of this rhyme I’ll only name a few
George Cuddy, Albert Kelly and Fred Martin were great lights
Bob Cuddy had been married he could only come on certain nights
Fred Burrows, he was hunting, an apology did send
That he was lamping rabbits, he to the hall could not attend
You know our friend Bob Cuddy, I mean him from Killymoyle
Scattering sawdust on the floor, he did most laboriously toil
When John Watt saw the sawdust, he says there is no need to grouse
You’ve made a fine beginning for a great deep litter house
From Killymoyle, George Cuddy came, the rat holes for to close
What rats could get into this fine hall, that’s what no-one knows
Andy Lamont painted the forms; he did the job so well
That they weren’t dry for several weeks, least so the people tell
Tom Steen did the fancy work, a splendid job he made
We never knew he was such an expert at the trade
James Brown did some painting, and as paintings all the rage
He went about for several weeks, behind a camouflage
When they went into the kitchen, things were not looking bright
George Cuddy, to a party went on the very first night
On the second night the workers all with joy did congregate
At Austin Patterson’s wedding, they went to celebrate
And now the ladies cloakroom, it must be finished right
Fred Martin did his very best to make the place look bright
I’m sure the ladies hanging coats will often say with joy
“Now isn’t Freddie Martin a great broth of a boy”
To help the light they did agree to Calor Gas install
For these wee flicks of paraffin lamps they are no good at all
Get ready for a wedding, at least that’s the people’s talk
Fred Martin and Tom Steen did work till it was four o’clock
Then at the wedding party the place was ablaze with light
It was so like the sunset, it was so very bright
But the chimney smoked just awful the kitchen was overcast
And when the night was over, Willie Doran, was half gassed
All said the smoke was awful, the stove must be removed
Right over to the other side, and of this scheme all approved
And so the strong men gathered, the job was quickly done
Now the smoke roars up the chimney like it did enjoy the fun
All thanks to Willie Doran, with that you will agree
For every night he provided, currant baps and tea
It was always very welcome and the dust it did wash down
For at repairs, the dust and grime are always floating round
At Lodge meeting, the WM thanked members one and all
For the hearty way in which they did respond unto the call
Now with congratulations we’ll end this silly rhyme
Perhaps there may be more to say upon a future time
Composed by Bob Quinn
Copied down by Mrs Margt Cuddy, Gorey